


Leave me another day

by Whimsical_spirit



Series: Whimsical spirit vs. Gays [3]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Broken Alex Danvers, Character Death, F/F, Heavy Angst, Secret Relationship, Songfic, The angstiest angst of all, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:48:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29635560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whimsical_spirit/pseuds/Whimsical_spirit
Summary: Astra and Alex’s cooperation against Non and Myriad doesn’t go well.Read the tags, I warned you.
Relationships: Astra/Alex Danvers
Series: Whimsical spirit vs. Gays [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2177535
Comments: 8
Kudos: 5





	Leave me another day

**Author's Note:**

> 2021 started like shit, and all the stress I've been in for the last 5 months escalated to this. Don't blame me though, it's all A-ha's fault. It's their song _'Summer moved on'_ that inspired me to write this. The link to it is somewhere in the fic and [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVl4qvHuY8g). Enjoy your read and cry _(I did while writing, so there's no shame in it)_.
> 
> Huge thanx to [JBKid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JBKid/pseuds/JBKid) for editing. The stupid mistakes and strange choice of words that are left are there by my **choice** , so bear with me.

Fear. It has been fear that Alex has been overwhelmed by the last couple of months. Fear, when Hellgrammite kidnapped her. Fear, when she found out that DEO and Supergirl had to fight her sister’s aunt. Fear when said aunt showed up at her apartment admitting her admiration towards the Brave One and asking for her help to find a way of helping Earth without Myriad. Fear, when they agreed on tactics how to oppose Non. Fear, when Alex started feeling a strange pull towards the older woman, one she couldn't even explain to herself. Fear, when she asked herself what would come if Non or her superiors found out. Fear, when Astra told her she had fallen in love with her. Fear, when Kara was attacked by Black Mercy. Fear, when Alex seemed to lose her sister to the fantasy of Krypton. Fear, when Agent Danvers realized that the general’s feelings were reciprocated. Fear has been following Alex for months. What she feels now is dread. 

It all went wrong on the roof. Alex was supposed to give the DEO a tip from an anonymous source of the time and locations of the Myriad launch, while Astra had to create a malfunction in the mechanism in a way to make it detonate as soon as it's plugged in the network. This way Non and his people would be dragged to several spots where the DEO and army would be waiting for them in an ambush. But as soon as the Kryptonian general plugged the myriad in, nothing happened. Non knew. Non knew, at the precise second world erupted into chaos. 

The sound of bullets shooting, bombs detonating, concrete cracking and people shouting rent National City’s air. For long seconds neither Alex nor Astra moved, this unexpected twist taking them by surprise. Slowly, agonisingly the DEO agent acknowledges her surroundings and contemplates the choices she has: a) betray the alliance with the Kryptonian general, engage in a fight and either get killed or kill the person she loves with her own hands; b) betray the DEO, let Astra flee and get court-martialed later; c) play the capture and give her beloved a mild injury to bring her in the DEO. 

“Agent Danvers, you're in closest proximity to one of the Kryptonian leaders. Engage” the redhead’s earpiece shouts with the voice of Samuel Lane. She doesn't have time to weigh variables. The choice has to be made now. The pulse rapidly counts milliseconds in the agents’ ears as she pulls one of her Kryptonite shuriken and throws it at the unsuspecting Astra who is still trying to unplug Myriad. 

“I'm so sorry, Wise One. I'll prove to them you're on our side” Alex pleads to the last In-Ze as she snuggles Astra’s contracting body to her own. “I'll prove you are with us, with me. Everything will be alright, I promise. I'll deal with it”.

***

It isn't alright. As soon as Alex tells the DEO and then military their story, she is suspended and put behind bars for treason. And while it’s most of the DEO agents, Lucy Lane and Kara Danvers fighting to mitigate the younger woman’s sentence, it's only Supergirl that fights for general Astra In-Ze. So, is of little surprise when the redhead gets out only stripped of her rank, with an honourable discharge and a prohibition to apply for any jobs in any government agency, while the older woman is sentenced to death by a Kryptonite injection.

***

As a gesture of good will, Alex and Astra are given a last visitation, an hour to say goodbyes before the latter is taken to her execution. First 15 minutes are spent just with the older Danvers sobbing violently in the Kryptonian’s arms and muttering apologies. She should have chosen differently; she should have created failsafes in advance. She must have let Astra go and thought of some way to explain her inability to stop the enemy general. The older brunette just holds her Brave One tightly and whispers soft words of assurance.

“Alexandra, we don't have much time left. I need you to promise me something” the general interrupts yet another of Alex’s apologies and lifts the redhead’s chin so that their eyes can meet. 

“Please, don't talk to me as if you're about to die, Astra” the Danvers woman shakes her head and roams her hands frantically over her love’s body. “You're not dying on me”. 

The older woman catches Alex's hands and looks the girl straight in the hazel eyes. “But I **am** going to die soon, and I can't go there without knowing that you won't close off and torture yourself to death afterwards”. 

“So don't go” sounds weakly, and there's no way for the guards at the door to hear it. 

“I don't want to, my Precious One, my Brave One, but I have no choice”. 

“ **I** had a choice. And I screwed up. I'm sorry, Astra, so sorry” the redhead bursts into agonized tears once again, but the Kryptonian has had enough of it. 

“You need to listen to me now, Alexandra Danvers. Because there is no way your life gets thrown away after today. You have to promise me that you won't hold yourself accountable for my death. Promise me!” the general demands. 

“I can't! How can I when I **am** accountable?” 

“How can't you see that it's not your fault?!” Astra’s voice nears a scream. “I signed my death warrant when I decided to proceed with Myriad on Earth. When I kidnapped you, and your Director later in exchange for your sister or our allies in your prisons. I signed it when I failed to hose Non, and when I failed to save you from making an impossible choice. I would have died anyway, no matter your decision. It's my destiny” the brunette's voice gets shaky with the emotions taking over her. “Promise me, Alexandra”. 

“I ca-” 

“Promise!” the Kryptonian snarls. “Promise!” 

“I promise”. 

“Promise me you'll open up to your sister and friends, so they can help you heal”. 

“But Kara is-” 

“Kara is not a Little One anymore, she’ll survive. Promise me”. 

“I promise”. 

“Promise me you'll follow your heart in your work and in love, not obligation or duty”. 

“I promise”. 

“And the last thing,” Astra lets out a deep breath and brings the younger woman’s hands to her lips one after the other, “Promise me you'll remember me and hold me dear in your heart-” 

“There is no way I won't” Alex frees her hands and puts them on the Kryptonian’s cheeks. She looks lovingly into those grey-green eyes, trying to convey all of her feelings without words but still adds “I love you, Astra, with all I have”. 

The older woman's heart breaks to see her loved one so close, feel her touch, hear her declaration of love, acknowledge the love is just one step away, but she can't take this step, can't stay. She surges for Alex's lips to leave a desperate kiss there, to leave a mark in the Brave One’s soul. “I love you. I love you. Love you. Love you. Love you” Kryptonian repeats again and again as she leaves ghost kisses everywhere she can reach. 

They spend the next 25 minutes fantasising about the dates that they would take each other on. Astra would fly Alex to Boston to visit the major Camille Pissarro exhibition (as she knows Pissarro is the redhead's favourite painter). The Danvers woman picks going to some tropical beach to teach Kryptonian how to surf and just lay with her on the beach sand and watch Astra glow with how much sunlight she absorbs. They talk about lunches and dinners, breakfasts together, family nights with Kara and travelling the world. They just cling to each other as they envision themselves in the combined human and Kryptonian ceremony where they would commit to each other in front of people who are dear to them, both from Earth and Krypton. They can dream... 

But not for long. 

“Five minutes” one of the guards tells them, and both women startle.

_[Put the song on](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVl4qvHuY8g) _

Only 5 minutes. The **last** five minutes.

Astra stares at her beloved soul and finally asks the question she was so afraid to voice all this time. “Will you be with me there? Please, let me see you for the last time before I die. I want you to be the last thing to see”. She pulls Alex even closer to her, not wanting to let her Brave One go. 

“How?” the redhead says through the thick layer of new tears. “How do you expect me to outright it there? Seeing you die because of me!” 

“But you promised...” 

“I promised from tomorrow on. There's no fucking way I’m forgiving myself today. I don't even know if they'll give me your body back” Alex stops, severe sobs contorting her body. 

“Shush, dear. Shush. Everything will be okay. It will be fine. Just do this last thing for me. Please, I beg you!” 

“One minute” the guard announces. 

A helpless cry breaks away from the redhead’s throat and she launches herself into a deep kiss. “Please, don't go. Don't leave me here. I can't live without you now that I know you were just in front of me, when you've kissed me, and held me, and told me ‘I love you’” the young woman shakes uncontrollably, and it takes Astra all the power that's left in her just to hold her love. 

“Alexandra, Alex, I won't leave you. Not for long, we’ll meet in Rao’s light. Just wait for me. And send me off to him, please. Be with me there”. 

“Time” one of the guards says, and they both move towards the women. The taller one yanks the Kryptonian and tugs her towards the door while the other one holds Alex down. 

“No, Astra! No! **No!!!** ” the Danvers woman cries out which breaks the last string in the mighty general’s heart, and she just falls on the floor wrecked by sobs. She's picked up and taken away to be prepared for the execution as the redhead continues withering in the guard’s arms until she passes out from emotional exhaustion.

_[Stay, don't just walk away_  
And leave me another day  
A day just like today  
With nobody else around] 

***

1 hour and 13 minutes later Astra has changed clothes, washed her face, read a prayer and is now led into a room with only a chair and a table in it. Three of its walls are white while the front one is just thick glass. The Kryptonian searches through the audience and is relieved when she sees Alexandra Danvers sitting on the front row with her face behind her hands. _‘She's here’, ‘Alex is here’_ Astra repeats to herself as her arms and legs are fastened to the chair.

“Please, look at me. Raise your head and look at me, Alex, please” Astra mutters under her breath knowing there's no way for the redhead to hear her. 

But the older Danvers doesn't. She’s obviously crying without tears, shuddering from time to time. 

In her peripheral vision the older brunette sees a syringe full of Kryptonite taken by one of the men, and panic overtakes her. Not so of a fear for her life but the desperate need to look Alex in the eyes for the last time. 

“Alex, look at me!” the Kryptonian shouts desolately. “Look at me, Alex. Look at me! **Look at me!** ” 

And the redhead shifts her palms towards the nose revealing her bloodshot eyes, just in time to see Astra’s face relax and her beloved woman send her last smile before she is injected with liquid poison and taken by the agony. 

Both women's eyes widen in horror and pain. Astra’s pupils widen for a second before shrinking and darting chaotically. Alex gasps at this horrible sight and whimpers when the pupils get still, and colour abandons the general’s eyes. 

The image of Astra’s eyes draining of life will haunt Alexandra Danvers forever. Through pain and joy, sadness and happiness, therapy sessions and meetings for widows of executed criminals. The image of Astra’s body going limp will escort Alexandra Danvers from her deathbed to the Rao’s light.

**Author's Note:**

> Come shout at me for making you suffer not only on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ay_malaia) but also on [Tumblr](https://aymalaia.tumblr.com/) now. Come to discuss Supergirl-y stuff and talk just about anything.  
> Don't be shy, leave a comment, whether it's praise or critique. Pretty please!  
> Otherwise, have a nice day/night. Take care of yourselves, and see you soon.


End file.
